By the time I was seventeen I had lost two grandparents. Their loss devastated me. I used to shut myself in my room and talk to them. I could feel them with me. I would have conversations with them. Even I thought I was a bit crazy but I didn’t care because it felt amazing to be with them again even if it was only in my imagination. Fast forward a few years to summer break my junior year of college. I was a lifeguard at the time and worked with a girl who had lost her mother. She talked passionately about wanting to have a session with John Edwards so she could talk to her mom again. At the time John’s show, Crossing Over, was on air and as the world was being exposed to mediumship I was realizing for the first time maybe my experiences were more than just my imagination. I remember watching Crossing Over and being mesmerized. This man was sharing memories of these peoples loved ones. Evidence of their presence not just in that moment but in other moments since their passing. How was that possible? The skeptical side of me ran through every possible scenario to prove it all false and yet in my heart I knew it was real. Skepticism is a tricky thing. Why was I so adamant about proving something false that I wanted more than anything to be real?
In my years of delving into this work I have discovered the spectrum of expectations people have when they book a session with a medium are extreme. Some people are happy with the slightest bit of evidence, others want names, dates and social security numbers and then there are some who want specific pieces of information and nothing else will do.
Wherever you happen to fall on the spectrum here are a few bits of information that can help you to have a fulfilling experience.
- First it is important to understand the job of a medium is to provide evidence of the spirit world. That evidence can come in many forms but it will rarely, if ever, come in the form of a social security number. Generally spirits provide evidence of their work, memories they shared with you, significant moments in their life and the things that were important to them.
- It is not up to you or the medium what information will come through. I have had many readings and my grandma never misses a chance to say hi. The first thing most people say when it comes to my grandma and me was that we played cards. A lot of cards. We were actually in the middle of a game the day she passed away. However, only once in all the readings I’ve had has cards ever been mentioned. I used to think that was crazy. From my perspective cards are one of the most important things I remember about my grandma how could they not pick up on this. For awhile attaching to this one specific piece of evidence prevented me from being fully present in my sessions. I kept waiting for the mediums to say cards that I wasn’t hearing the evidence they were actually providing. When I finally let that one piece go it was amazing to remember all of the other moments I had with my grandma. It also made the moment I heard a medium say ‘cards’ all that more special.
- No medium can ever guarantee who will come through. This can be painful to understand and accept when you want nothing more than to connect with a specific loved one. However, the spirit world is very intelligent. They know what you need and that is what they will give to you even if it differs from what you want. Trust there is an intelligence behind what is happening and be open to those who do show up, they have come for a reason.
- Sometimes the medium will get it wrong. It happens. If something doesn’t make sense to you it’s ok to say “no.” Communication with the spirit world is very subtle and mediums work to establish a vocabulary that generally consists of their own experiences, signs and symbols. It is a vocabulary that is constantly expanding and evolving. When a medium receives a ‘no’ it is an opportunity for them to go back and communicate with the spirit to set the information straight. Don’t try to make the information fit, let the medium do the work and straighten it out.
- Keep your responses to simple yes, no or I don’t know’s. Mediums call this being a good recipient. Don’t give away information. You’re there so the medium can give evidence to you not the other way around.
- Sometimes the connection is simply not there. It does not mean they’re a phony. Everyone has off days or appointments that don’t click, mediums are no different.
- The spirit world is not there to give you advice or help you make decisions. Generally they will bring up current situations you are facing to acknowledge they are present and aware of what you are going through but they will not interfere with your free will. I find they usually want to offer encouragement or show their support for the things you know in your heart to be the right course of action.
- They will present themselves as you knew them. They are the same person they were in life they just no longer have their physical body. However, you may find your loved ones change the more you connect with them. This work is as much for them as it is for us. Spirits learn, grow and heal through this work as much as we do.
- Most mediums charge for sessions. Whether the medium does it as a pastime or it’s their full time job they have bills to pay just like you and their time is valuable.
- Enjoy the experience. You’re connecting with the spirit world and it’s amazing.
Kari Ann Larson 